


How Francesco Got Kicked Out of Emo Club

by skywalkersamidala



Category: I Medici | Medici: Masters of Florence (TV), The Borgias (Showtime TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crossover, Humor, M/M, but the tropetastic setting of an american high school was just Required for this okay, if anything they should've been at an italian high school and not an american one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 12:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19768087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skywalkersamidala/pseuds/skywalkersamidala
Summary: Cesare and Micheletto hate everyone, and so does Francesco Pazzi, so they deign to start hanging out with him. Until Francesco grievously betrays them.





	How Francesco Got Kicked Out of Emo Club

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alcyone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alcyone/gifts).



> Shoutout to Alcyone for being the original genius behind this magnificent AU, because a high school setting is the only AU that can properly capture what melodramatic dumbass bitches all these characters are. You're probably sitting there thinking "Medici/the Borgias crossover high school au? that's weird and not something I need in my life" but trust me IT IS and I hope this oneshot will give you a nice lil window into the very detailed AU we've been crafting for the past few weeks jfgkjh
> 
> Russian translation by the talented arthurslake on tumblr here: https://ficbook.net/readfic/8694409

Cesare had always liked Francesco Pazzi, actually. Well, “liked” was maybe a strong word, but at the very least, Francesco was one of exactly three people at their school he could tolerate, with Micheletto and Lucrezia being the other two. (Lucrezia as in his sister, that is—Lucrezia Donati could choke as far as Cesare was concerned.)

Everyone else at school were idiots. Juan was a dumb jock. Giuliano de’ Medici was a dumb jock too, yet apparently a different brand of dumb jock, as he and Juan hated each other. Sandro Botticelli was a pathetic nerd who only avoided getting stuffed in a locker every day of his life because he was inexplicably best friends with Giuliano and everyone knew Giuliano would kill them if they laid a finger on Sandro.

(Juan had learned this the hard way when he’d “accidentally” spilled ketchup on some of Sandro’s drawings at lunch and Giuliano had retaliated later on by shoving him into the dumpster behind school, which Cesare had to admit had been pretty funny, even if he felt obligated to take his brother’s side publicly.)

Cesare didn’t hate Clarice Orsini (how could anyone?) but he didn’t like her either. She always scolded him for cutting class, like she was his _mom_ or something, and one time she’d reminded their biology teacher that he’d forgotten to assign homework. Cesare had never forgiven her for it. Goody two-shoes.

Then there were the preps. Bianca de’ Medici and Guglielmo Pazzi might have been okay on their own, but they were joined at the hip and whenever they had to go their separate ways for class, they stood there making out in the middle of the hall like they were never going to see each other again, it was disgusting. Cesare had a sort of grudging respect for Simonetta Cattaneo because at least she understood the value of luxurious hair, but she did hang around too much with Giuliano and Sandro and thus was invalid by association.

Lorenzo de’ Medici was the worst of all. God, Cesare hated him with every fiber of his being. Everyone thought he was _so_ smart and _so_ nice and _so_ funny and _so_ popular and _so_ good-looking, and Cesare was the only one to see him for what he really was, a teacher’s pet and a pretentious know-it-all. He _was_ nice, though. Infuriatingly nice, one of those people who showed up to school at seven AM fresh-faced and cheerful and who considered everyone his friend (or pretended to) and who acted all fake humble, like he wasn’t simultaneously the top of the class academically _and_ a star athlete _and_ the most popular guy in school.

Cesare hate-followed him on Twitter and got angry every time he tweeted some fake deep quote from a Roman philosopher or used “#blessed” unironically. Lucrezia asked why he followed him if it made him so mad, to which Cesare just scoffed. She didn’t understand. Lorenzo de’ Medici’s Twitter account was like a car crash, Cesare couldn’t look away even though he wanted to.

There was only one person in the school who hated Lorenzo as much as Cesare did, and that person was Francesco Pazzi. Francesco was therefore valid in Cesare’s eyes, no matter how much Micheletto snarked that Francesco was fake emo because he was too much of a privileged rich boy to be the real thing. He kindly ignored that Cesare was also a privileged rich boy. Besides, the Borgias, at least, were new money, not like the Pazzi and the Medici.

Between the three families, it was hard to say which two hated each other the most. The Pazzi and Medici ran the town and had been enemies for generations. But they’d quickly become enemies of the Borgias too, because the Borgias were new in town and the Pazzi and Medici didn’t appreciate them trying to shoulder their way into the unofficial leadership of their community.

That didn’t mean either Pazzi or Medici would turn down an opportunity to temporarily ally with the Borgias at the expense of the other family, though. PTO meetings were a warzone; Rodrigo always came back from them either shouting about Pazzi mischief and Medici trickery, or giddy because he’d teamed up with Jacopo Pazzi to knock Piero de’ Medici down a peg or vice versa. But he was giddiest of all when he managed to knock Jacopo _and_ Piero down a peg at the same time.

So Rodrigo threw a minor fit when Cesare started hanging around Francesco, but Vanozza talked him down because she was just glad Cesare was capable of making a friend (Micheletto didn’t count, they’d been friends for so long that neither of them had a choice in the matter anymore).

It had all started one day in the fall when Cesare and Micheletto were in their usual after-school spot smoking behind the bleachers, and for the first time, Francesco was there too. “Look at him, trying to be edgy,” Micheletto said under his breath as they stood resolutely as far away from Francesco as possible. “I bet his uncle bought him that jacket. Stuck-up rich bitch.”

Cesare, whose own leather jacket had been a birthday gift from his mother, just made a noncommittal noise and didn’t say anything.

So it went nearly every day for the next several weeks. Francesco never spoke to them or they to him. He seemed perfectly happy to smoke by himself, it didn’t seem like he was _trying_ to edge into their little group. But Cesare thought he saw him throwing them a wistful glance once when Micheletto wasn’t looking.

One Thursday in November, Cesare realized he’d forgotten his lighter at home. “Idiot,” Micheletto complained.

“You don’t have one either.”

“Yeah, because _you_ always do.”

Cesare glanced sideways to where Francesco was pulling out his own lighter. “We could ask Francesco to borrow his,” he suggested.

“No way,” Micheletto said, so of course they went over there and asked him.

“Sure,” Francesco said, looking like he couldn’t care less. Cesare kind of thought he was trying too hard to look like he couldn’t care less.

They used his lighter and gave it back, but didn’t return to their spot on the far end of the bleachers (although Micheletto looked like he wanted to). They didn’t talk to Francesco either, though. Instead the three of them stood there and smoked together in an almost companionable silence, until Guglielmo Pazzi showed up at the end of his soccer practice to drive Francesco home.

“See you,” Francesco said to the other two.

“See you,” Cesare echoed while Micheletto scowled.

Francesco and Guglielmo left, and Cesare heard Guglielmo saying, sounding delighted, “Have you made some new friends, Francesco?”

Francesco mumbled a response too quietly for them to hear what it was, but the question alone made Micheletto’s scowl deepen.

Nevertheless, the next day at lunch when Cesare spotted Francesco sitting at a table by himself, he impulsively led Micheletto over to sit with him. “Come on,” Micheletto protested.

“Well, it’s too cold to sit outside today and there’s no completely empty tables,” Cesare pointed out, so Micheletto sighed and reluctantly followed him.

“Hey,” Cesare said when they arrived. “Can we sit here? There’s no room anywhere else.”

Francesco shrugged. “Whatever.”

They sat, and Cesare had just unpacked Vanozza’s homemade prosciutto sandwich when he heard an unpleasantly familiar voice saying, “Hi, Francesco!”

He looked up and frowned as he saw Lorenzo de’ Medici standing there. “Hi,” Francesco said.

Lorenzo smiled at him. “I was wondering if you wanted to sit with me and my friends, we’re just over there,” he said, gesturing at a table close by where Cesare could see Sandro and Clarice engaged in conversation while Giuliano shoveled an entire slice of pizza into his mouth.

“Um…” Francesco wasn’t quite meeting Lorenzo’s eyes and looked almost flustered. “No thanks,” he said. “I’m already sitting with people.”

“Oh, hey, Cesare, Micheletto,” Lorenzo said, as if he hadn’t even noticed their presence until now. “I didn’t know you guys were friends.”

“We’re not,” Micheletto grumbled.

“Oh. Well, Francesco, you’re welcome to sit with me anytime. And you too, Cesare and Micheletto,” Lorenzo tacked on rather awkwardly.

“Uh, thanks,” Francesco mumbled, and Lorenzo smiled at him again and left.

“God, what a dick,” Cesare said once he was gone. “Acting like he’s doing us a huge favor by inviting us to sit with him and his idiot friends, as if we’d even want to.”

“Yeah. He sucks,” Francesco said, though Cesare couldn’t help but think it sounded rather halfhearted. And surely it was a sign of Francesco’s intense hatred for Lorenzo that he spent the rest of lunch gazing longingly over at him and sighing.

* * *

Months passed. Soon it was every day that Cesare and Micheletto were sitting with Francesco during lunch and smoking with him behind the bleachers after school. Cesare was pleased to find that Francesco shared his opinions on the stupidity of all their classmates, and even Micheletto eventually stopped complaining about him.

And so Francesco became an official member of “emo club,” as some people (Juan) snidely referred to their little friend group. Cesare even dared to invite him over to his house sometimes on the weekends, which delighted Vanozza in her aforementioned worry about Cesare’s ability (or lack thereof) to make friends. He never went to Francesco’s house, though, seeing as Jacopo would definitely not take kindly to his presence. Rodrigo, for his part, complained about Francesco to no end but never actually tried to prevent Cesare from inviting him over, especially because he was currently in the middle of a heated war with Piero de’ Medici in the PTO and so his hatred of the Pazzi had fallen momentarily by the wayside.

Then it was spring, and prom season was upon them. “I was thinking you guys could come over that night and we could hang out,” Cesare said after school one day. “My house will be way less annoying than usual since Juan won’t be there.” Nor would Lucrezia, who had already been invited to prom by an upperclassman, but she never bothered Cesare and his friends anyway.

“You’re not going to prom?” Francesco said.

Cesare laughed. “Of course not.”

“Why the hell would we go?” Micheletto said. “Worst night of the year.”

“Yeah, I see enough of our classmates on a regular school day, thanks.”

“Right, yeah,” Francesco said, avoiding their eyes.

Cesare raised his eyebrows. _“You’re_ not going, are you?” he asked.

Francesco fidgeted and stared at his feet. “Well, I wasn’t going to, but…um…Lorenzo kind of…asked me to go with him? And…I kind of said yes.”

“What?!” Micheletto said, looking horrified.

“Lorenzo de’ Medici?” Cesare demanded.

“Yeah,” Francesco said in a small voice.

“Why did you say yes?! I thought we hated him!”

“We do! I-I only said yes as a joke, you know, like, to make fun of him,” Francesco insisted. “I mean, he sort of seems like he has a crush on me, which is so embarrassing for him, so when he asked me I thought it would be funny to say yes and—and get his hopes up, only to reject him later.”

“Oh,” Cesare said, relaxing into a grin. “That’s such a dick move, Francesco, I love it. You’re a genius.”

Francesco laughed. Was it a nervous laugh or was that Cesare’s imagination? “I try my best.”

Cesare wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to see Lorenzo potentially be humiliated in front of the entire school, not to mention that he relished the chance to teach his style-incompetent classmates a thing or two about real fashion, so he ended up deciding to go to prom too. Which meant that Micheletto also went, because he followed Cesare everywhere—though not without making it very clearly known to Cesare how mad he was about it.

The two of them spent most of the night lurking at the edge of the room making fun of everyone. There was an entertaining diversion when Juan and Giuliano, both of whom had apparently smuggled in alcohol separately, got in a drunken fistfight and were thrown out by the chaperones, but otherwise the night was atrociously dull.

And for someone who was allegedly there as a joke, Francesco did seem to be enjoying himself. He hardly left Lorenzo’s side the whole night, as far as Cesare saw, and he kept seeing the two of them laughing together and smiling at each other. He even saw them slow dancing at one point, Francesco resting his head on Lorenzo’s shoulder, which was so sickening that Cesare considered going home then and there and never speaking to Francesco again. But he reminded himself that Francesco could very well just be playing a part and that this was all part of his elaborate plan to embarrass Lorenzo, so he stayed to see it pan out.

Another painful and boring hour passed. Cesare went to the bathroom just to kill time, and Micheletto followed him because he wasn’t about to stand around in the middle of prom by himself. Cesare pushed open the door to the bathroom—

—and was greeted by the horrifying sight of Francesco pressed up against the row of sinks as Lorenzo kissed him passionately. “Oh my God!” Cesare yelped.

They sprang apart and turned to look at the intruders. “Oh, hey guys,” Lorenzo said, not looking at all embarrassed.

Francesco, meanwhile, looked like he was about to die of mortification. “What the fuck, Francesco?” Cesare said. “I thought you hated him!”

Lorenzo turned back to Francesco and smirked at him. “Do you hate me, Francesco?” he said, clearly amused.

“You know I don’t,” Francesco said, his cheeks turning pink.

“Then what was all that shit you said about only saying yes as a joke?” said Micheletto, who looked revolted.

Francesco rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, that wasn’t—wasn’t true,” he mumbled. “I just didn’t want you guys to make fun of me.”

“They wouldn’t have made fun of you, Francesco,” Lorenzo said. “They’re your friends.”

“Yes, we would have, and no, we’re not!” Micheletto said.

“So, what, is he your _boyfriend_ now?” Cesare said sarcastically, gesturing at Lorenzo.

Francesco’s blush deepened. “Yes, actually,” Lorenzo said proudly. “Two weeks and counting.”

Cesare stared at them in shocked disgust for a moment, and then he turned to Micheletto. “Can you check my back, Micheletto?” he said. “Because I think there’s a knife in it.”

And he flounced dramatically out.

* * *

That was how Francesco got kicked out of emo club. Juan overheard Cesare telling Lucrezia about the incident the next morning, which meant that the entire school had found out about Francesco and Lorenzo within an hour. It caused a stir, to say the least. No one could remember the last time the social order of the school had been upset so badly. Francesco and Lorenzo were social opposites, not to mention their families were enemies; they had no business even speaking to each other, let alone _dating._

 _“I_ think it’s romantic,” Lucrezia said. “Like Romeo and Juliet.”

Cesare gagged. “Ugh, don’t you take their side!”

Rodrigo swept into the kitchen to refill his coffee. “I’ve had enough of your incessant gossiping this morning,” he declared. “And why are you on your phone, Juan, you’re grounded!” How dearly Cesare wished that last night he’d been home watching Rodrigo and Vanozza find out Juan had gotten suspended from school and not at prom watching Francesco make out with Lorenzo.

“Cesare actually knows something useful for once and I have to tell everyone else about it,” Juan said without even looking up from where he was frantically typing away on his phone.

“Papa, it’s so exciting,” Lucrezia added. “Lorenzo de’ Medici and Francesco Pazzi are dating!”

Rodrigo stopped in his tracks. “What?”

“They went to prom together and Cesare saw them kissing and they told him they were dating! Everyone’s talking about it!”

Thinking how much his father hated the Medici and the Pazzi, Cesare expected Rodrigo to take his side. But to his consternation, a broad grin spread across his face. “Oh, Piero de’ Medici and Jacopo Pazzi must be _furious!”_ he said gleefully. “They’re never going to hear the end of this, I’ll make sure of it.”


End file.
